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[longwillows]

reach out?

the smell of fresh water in dry desert air. the feeling of cautious curiosity. a place as dangerous as it is resplendent.

c

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[longwillows]

[Like this, the trepidation and uncertainty that Kalmiya feels reaching out to Ash can be kept away from the easily-stained fabric of the Murmur. She adores Ash, but she can think of many ways that someone in her position could misunderstand what happened when their tether snapped. Ash's self-confidence, her faith in her relationships, are both so tentative. It would be easy to assume that Kalmiya had simply abandoned her, as so many others have.

But Kalmiya doesn't know. It seemed like some of the others had gotten glimpses or impressions of her exchanges with One and Sleep. She can't be sure how much Ash saw or how much she knows. And she hates the idea that her recklessness could have left Ash feeling abandoned yet again.

The anger would be cause for concern on its own, but alongside Ash's query, it releases some of the tension Kalmiya was holding about this exchange. More likely it's anger for her, and not at her.

Despite the distance she holds herself at from the Murmur, the subtle cooling sensation of relief trickles through.]

not particularly, to be truthful
that was the worst pain i've ever felt
but i'm quite tough. i'll heal

[sculptedash]

[Ash's abandonment issues were real and cut deep into who she was. It would be a lie to say that there wasn't any uncertainty that she something hadn't happened to snap the tether, the connection between the two of them, but she had managed to push those feelings down and not immediately react on the dread.

Ash hadn't seen or felt much of what had happened, she had caught a sense of Kalmiya being near One, and then the tether being snapped, and pain along with it. This fit how those pieces fit together. It was easier to see now how these pieces fit together. She had a guess at how much those connections meant to Kalmiya by how easily she seemed to pick them up and thrive under them.

The relief through the connection hits and she reaches out to brush back with a sense of concern and empathy. The angers still burns softly, but she chooses not to feed it for the moment.]


That is saying a lot. You are one of the the strongest people I've met.
Here or anywhere else.
...Can I come see you?
Is there anything I can do to help?

[longwillows]

[Though it wasn't empty bravado to proclaim that she was tough, it still hits her strangely to hear Ash say she's so strong when she's felt so incredibly weak since waking up in Manhattan. And never weaker than now, violently separated from all who loved her at home and everyone who's come to love her here.

She is so, so tired of having to find strength in solitude.

It feels almost shameful to need Ash's help again after the incident with the dream Vessels, but shame has never been a more powerful motivator than loneliness for Kalmiya, despite an upbringing that relied almost entirely upon it to keep everyone in line. So despite her hesitance, Ash can feel Kalmiya reaching back; even without the tether, even with the careful distance of Kalmiya's words, the longing as she reaches out is palpable.]

if you'd like to come by, i would appreciate the company
as long as it's not burdensome to you

[sculptedash]

[Ash has had time to watch and see how much Kalmiya has thrived making all of these connections. Seeing this she understands a little more how much Kalmiya needed them. How lonely the both of them were, and how they were handling it in very different ways.

It makes Ash feel a little terrible about pushing away as much as she did in the past, even though she felt she didn't deserve connections that made her happy.

She feels Kalmiya reach out and this time she let's down the walls and barriers that she had built up. Instead choosing to reach out and take hold instead.

There wasn't much distance between the two of them in apartment. Feeling the connection makes it easier for Ash to sink into the shadows near her, and then emerge from another set directly behind Kalmiya. Whether she's standing, sitting, or laying down, Ash will move to wrap her arms around Kalmiya's shoulders and waist. She'll lean in lightly and whisper into her ear.]

You are not a burden,
You are beautiful,
You are radiant,
Don't let her take that away from you.