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[longwillows]

reach out?

the smell of fresh water in dry desert air. the feeling of cautious curiosity. a place as dangerous as it is resplendent.

c

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[longwillows]

[Kalmiya likes Aventurine. But he holds his cards close to his chest—which, truthfully, is part of the reason she likes him. She respects the art of obfuscation and the stance that trust and vulnerability must be earned.

Still, it has left her in a bit of an ugly position in the wake of losing the tether he entrusted her with. However much or little he felt during the process, there are few contexts in which the loss could be for positive reasons. And she is not oblivious to the sticky sourness that occasionally oozes through the Murmur where she can feel it, of a color just familiar enough that she can tell the source is Aventurine.

If he's angry at her, she can't blame him. While she couldn't have foreseen the extent of the punishment, her recklessness damaged something precious given to her in a moment of mutual understanding.

Her answer is as if carried upon a breeze. Easy to brush off, were one so inclined, but transparent in substance—genuine despite how removed it is from the messy mire of Kalmiya's emotions.]

i regret that anyone else might have been hurt as a result of my actions
but i don't regret defying her. i learned a lot
and if it brings One closer to defying her too, then it was worth it

but i can't speak for everyone
so what do you think? do we have regrets?

["We," indeed.]

[sorte]

Do you think we brought him closer or drove him further away?

[ Aventurine doesn't directly answer concerning regrets, perhaps because especially right now in his whirlwind of thoughts and feelings with the mashing of tethers and sundowning, he doesn't know. He offers her an experience without explanation, but he doesn't think it needs any such thing between them.

only once it's finished, does he communicate again, although it's not about what she just saw. ]

It's not just you, a lot happened at once that I'm not able to cope with on my own. I don't know what to do with this emptiness, but I won't leave you behind if you still need me.

[ being needed in any capacity and the idea of how to identify that feels foreign to him and it laps at their connection like low tide on sandy beaches. he doesn't really know if Kalmiya needs him, or if offering her anything further is just a burden she will accept because she is that kind of person. ]

[longwillows]

[What Aventurine shows her is horrifying. Not so much the gore and viscera—Kalmiya has a strong stomach for that kind of thing—but what it all represents, what she feels as she's given this memory. From One, from Aventurine himself (and sometimes from her vantage point, she can't tell which is which in the harmony of unworthiness.)

Her end of the connection is quiet for a time, though not silent. The distant white noise of a rustling forest fills the space as she turns all this information over in her head, does her best to sort the emotional from the practical.

The most important thing, unquestionably, is this: those dreams are not of Sleep's making. They are One's. That is why One perhaps thought he could act in his own right for the briefest of moments as he danced with Kalmiya, why Sleep regarded her as a trespasser, why she was so angered by Kalmiya's ingratitude. Sleep did not invite them to this place. She is the head of the household, who ultimately allowed invitations extended by someone under her roof without her permission.

Something primal rumbles in Kalmiya's forest of thought. She was right to be angry with One. But she was right to reach out to him too. One and the new Vessels—they need each other if they want this to end.

Hearing Aventurine acknowledge so candidly his difficulty in coping right now makes her heart ache, as well. If you still need me, he says, as if his own emptiness is of no concern.

Rustling. Rumbling. Crickets. Eventually she responds, softer.]

she's weaker during the day
i can feel it
something happened. i hope it's that we brought him closer.

regardless
my favorite thing to do with emptiness is fill it
so if you're still willing to help me with that, i think i can help you with it too

[sorte]

[ Aventurine's end is still and silent for the moment, like a windless plateau. then, a breeze pitters across, rolling the grass as if time has started marching on once more. ]

Something is off here, though, don't you think?

If he's just a vessel, even the favored one, how would he have so much power as to bring about the day from a simple shift yet still be terrified of Sleep and her power? Whatever shift may have happened was extremely small, but this impact is significant.

[ wherever he is, he sighs in relief. Not that he thought she would refuse, but... Kalmiya knows how to handle him properly, for lack of a better set of words. She makes him feel like he doesn't have to be so on guard because she's busy already keeping watch. ]

I'd very much like that.