longwillows: (✨do you think)
kalmiya "worm off the string" longwillow ([personal profile] longwillows) wrote2025-06-30 09:05 am
Entry tags:

✨ somnia inbox

reach out?

pointedlook: (underwater)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-02 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
[ Sick and shaking, his breathing is shallow, the taste of panic lodged in the back of his throat. There's a change in weight that he feels aware of, the familiar impression of Kalmiya's perfume soaking into his lungs with every sharp inhale. For a few moments, he lets himself tilt in her direction across the tether, focuses on taking deeper lungfuls of sweet floral and fruit. Out of the tether, he stares at the rumple of sheets; they look nothing like a rocky shoreline or the pitch dark pull of the ocean at night.

Between those two grounding senses, he can feel the chaotic spin of his thoughts start to slow.

And then immediately climb, as Kalmiya reassures him it was a dream. Letting out a wounded noise, he uncurls himself and reaches for the side table almost instinctively, fingers coming in contact with the red acrylic die. Hands still trembling, he's careful as he rolls it thrice in succession, the weighted plastic making a soft click sound against the tabletop. Three white pips stare back at him for each result and he lets out a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding, eyes burning from the flood of emotion.

Releasing the die, he flops onto his pillow, pressing the heels of his palms against his closed eyes. ]


It's never just a dream. [ He finally says, a little hysterically. Like this, with the dream hovering so close in memory, with his eyes squeezed shut, he thinks he can still feel the warmth of Mal's palm against his cheek as she told him she missed him. That they needed to wake up. Blinked away tears on either side track down from the corners of his eyes towards his temples. Stupid, he was stupid for not listening to Kalmiya earlier. ]

You were right. I shouldn't have—can I—[ Swallowing, he tries again, thoughts jumbled and voice raw. ]—is that invite still open?
pointedlook: (leave it cobb)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-02 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ Part of it chafes, that she's able to hold steady while he unravels.

His emotions are as turbulent as the dream-sea, crashing up against the careful walls he's built to compartmentalize and keep everything contained. The spillover makes him feel wholly unlike himself, as if he's staring into a mirror and a different reflection was staring back. This time, he doesn't think it would be precise and eerily perfect. Instead, it would be younger, overwhelmed, every feeling trying to claw its way out at once.

Trying to curb some of it, he holds onto the even tone of Kalmiya's voice, the simple immediacy she answers with. ]


Stay there, I'll–[ Pulling his hands away from his face, he sits up, takes one glance at sheets thrown askew, and like a live wire, has a sudden need to be in motion. ]–I can't be here, right now.

[ It doesn't matter if there's Hosts or if the weather sucks. Anything is better than letting the dream loop through his mind in fragments, the soft press of Mal's lips to his cheek seeming to linger. And staying here meant he would be reminded of how he'd woken up.

So, he dresses quickly, quietly, only pausing long enough to check for a spare clip as he holstered a pistol under his coat. His die gets swept into a trouser pocket before he makes his way out of the townhouse, keeping his steps as silent as possible. Once out in the cold night, the brisk air hurts to breathe in and feels gloriously like relief. All of his attention turns towards an alertness for the wandering Hosts, the background noise of his dream drowned out by the possibility of danger.

He makes it to Kalmiya's doorstep with little incident–one Host, shot right in the head; he barely remembers pulling the trigger–and knocks softly, even though he feels they're both hyper-aware of how close the other person is. ]
pointedlook: (cannula)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-02 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Her footsteps are quiet as she tracks to the door, with a telltale pause to verify before she swings it open, gesturing him in. Immediately, the wash of her perfume overtakes his senses, both from her closeness and from the soak of it in her living space; his knees feel weak with relief.

He doesn't let himself collapse just yet, instead taking her invitation with a nod. Wound up as he is, he ends up perching on the edge of her bed, the riot of colors on the rumpled bedspread enough to shake some of the melancholy hanging over him. Truly, it's the most obnoxious blanket he's ever seen, verging on tacky, and he's afraid if he lets out any sound right now–even a laugh–aside from words, the knot in his chest will keep unraveling until there's nothing left.

So, he swallows around the gathering swell in his throat, holding out a hand towards her as she drifts closer away from the door. ]


Could I just–hold you, for a bit?
pointedlook: <lj user="asylums" site="insanejournal.com"> (timing is everything)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-03 05:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Her surprise is a quiet chime, a query wrapped underneath the initial startle. And while she doesn't let it stop her, his own mind answers with an affirmative—he isn't asking for this lightly and his awareness is drawn too tight to be anything but his own.

The curl of her hand in his is a physical manifestation of their link and he holds on firmly. Only when she steps into his space does he let go, replacing their clasped hands with the curve of his arms around her waist. As he hugs her tight, he leans forward, burying his face against her chest. When he feels the reassuring sensation of her return embrace, gravity presses in, bending his spine to mold them more closely, as if the gentle steel of her own posture was the only thing keeping him upright.

Three and a half years ago, he had this; the balm of Mal's lavender-scented lotion, the scrape of her voice in half-sleep, the two of them laying on her living room rug and talking about the future, about happiness, about dreams.

Much like the architecture collapses in dreaming when the dreamer dies, he feels his own footing start to give. With a shuddering breath, he lets the structure of his heart unravel, allows the grief to well up and flow over, leaving him in free fall.

But, he knows not to expect a kick, a jerking to wakefulness before impact; painfully, miserably aware of reality. ]
pointedlook: (yeah ok)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-04 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[ How can it be okay? crosses his mind, all of his usual logic shattered as surely as if it had been pushed over the balcony. There's no way for it to be okay, not with Mal gone, her effusive light snuffed out too soon. They still needed to go to Paris during her favorite season, to subsist off of street crepes and too many pain aux chocolat. To break in the new pairs of matching boots they'd gotten for each other one holiday, completely unplanned, and had broken into hysterics over. She needed to finish the half-full bottle of perfume on her dresser and complain bitterly the formula was different (it wasn't) when she bought a new one.

He needed to find her keys hundreds of thousands more times.

Tears well over, dampening the front of Kalmiya's shirt, and he chokes on a sob as he feels the slow caress of her hand. Little by little, each pass feels like she's sweeping the flood waters back, the suffocating pressure in his chest beginning to lift. And as it does, his awareness drips back in—the curl of her body like a curtain, how she's both steady in the storm and in the sure grip of her hand with his through the tether.

It's okay, because taking the plunge is the first step. It's okay to miss his best friend like a limb, to be more than a bit angry over it, because he's spent over two years not thinking about it at all. Burying it anytime it resurfaced, only allowing himself to skip to accepting it.

Molded so closely, his ears no longer ringing with the deafening sound of grief, he listens to the fixed beat of her heart, letting the muted vibration of it help dictate his own pulse. Pulling in a shivering inhale, he gives Kalmiya a grateful squeeze around the middle, spending another few moments just breathing in the berry-sweet scent of guava and summer warmed jasmine. ]


... Sorry about your shirt. [ To break the tension, though he doubts she's worried about that at all. Voice muffled, he sounds—tired, mostly, but different from the brittle exhaustion of being chased by his mirror. It's more okay; a fragile catharsis. ]
pointedlook: (no it's too soon)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-05 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Kalmiya gives him a return squeeze, the circle of her skinny arms somehow more reassuring than a vice. Against his cheek, her chest vibrates softly with the short, quiet half-laugh she gives and he finds it nearly as soothing as the brush of her fingers along his nape. ]

Yeah, I know. [ And that does bring a small, genuine smile to his lips. At this point, he is more than well aware of her blindness to mess. Or in other cases, her near blinding delight of it.

What she says next, though, settles over him like a soft blanket. Within it is the same feeling he used to get when he was young, sharing a haphazard blanket fort with his sister on the cramped lower bunk, trying not to laugh too loudly and get shooed to bed. Kalmiya's warmth soaks through the tether as surely as tea with cake, bleeding across the lines to settle in his bones. ]


... Thank you. [ Arthur pulls away from her front enough to glance up, sincerity shining through. What else could there be to say? The enormity of what she's offered can't possibly be quantified or met with words that would do it justice. He knows she doesn't expect anything in return, because she has a bigger heart than most anyone he's ever met, but there's a sense that transmits across the connection: Likewise. Should she ever need it. ]
pointedlook: (go time)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-06 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
[ As her hand finds its way to his cheek, he tilts into the cradle of her palm, further soothed by the slow sweep of her thumb. She echoes back his remark about friends (or really, her own, considering) and he smiles in agreement.

He doesn't keep too many friends, for this reason. Because he has never, not once, ever committed to something with less than his whole self. Nearly everything he did was taken to extremes; work, play, love. It meant putting an enormous amount of trust in the person to not take advantage of that. Because it also meant he would show up, every time, through the hell or high water.

Despite how little time he's known Kalmiya, he really does count her among the people he'd chase across the globe, if needed.

It's a well-founded feeling, especially in light of her willingness to let him lean on her for things like this. And for how she follows it up, gently offering for him to stay here, instead of going back to the shared apartment with Freddie and Sharon. Already tired from the long few weeks wrung out from emotion, he doesn't see a reason to turn her down. That, and well: ]


Judging from what happened last time I turned down your sound request, that's probably not a bad idea. [ Look, he's learning.

With reluctance, he lets her go, raking a hand through his hair as the last vestiges of the dream fall away. When the two of them are no longer sharing the same exact space, he'll bend to untie his boots and toe them off, shedding his jacket as he does. ]
pointedlook: (when?)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-06 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't worry, I haven't forgotten how you said you didn't need shelves.

[ He says in amusement, unlatching the holster he had on over his shirt. Setting that aside for now, he tugs his shirt over his head by the collar, unworried about leaving it a rumple on top of his jacket. Left in a plain tee and the dark joggers he'd hastily pulled on, he slips the handgun out of its holster and goes to set it on the nearby nightstand.

Apparently nearby the knife she's got tucked away. And if both of those fail, for some unlucky reason, there's a crowbar by the door. She's prepared. Something like gratefulness and relief settles in him as he watches her get comfortable, blankets rustling with the motions. His eyebrows go up in a small startle when she holds her arms out in a clear invitation, the gesture somehow so whimsical he can't help but huff a laugh.

Well, and crawl into the bed to accept it, sinking down into her embrace. Keeping his full weight off of her, he's tilted just to the side, head pillowed on her chest and a bony shin thrown over hers. One hand skims along her upper arm, palm cupped around her shoulder, thumb idly sweeping along the curve of it. If he were anyone else, this would be weird—it wasn't like most made a habit of cuddling with people they considered friends. But, even though he's keenly aware and protective of personal space—his and others—this kind of easy comfort is something he's used to. He'd grown up with it; he's not afraid to hug his sister. And the amount of times they'd fallen asleep on his bunk or the couch, tucked up close, was nearly uncountable at this point.

So, he relaxes into Kalmiya's hold, radiating a quiet contentment. ]
pointedlook: <lj user="seethesoldiers" site="insanejournal.com"> (here goes nothing)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-07 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
[ The two of them shift around, minute adjustments to find the most comfortable position for them both. After they settle, her arm comes to loop around his shoulders, both weighted and not. Her hand is warm where it loosely splays along his shoulder blade, the slow rise and fall of her chest the sweetest white noise he could ask for.

Despite his aversion to sudden touch—an instinctive flinch, borne from the military and living a paranoid life—he is, at his core, an incredibly tactile person. Habitually, he holds himself away from making contact with people, well aware of personal boundaries. Beyond that, he avoids touch unless absolutely necessary when running jobs, preferring to come across as nothing but aloof and professional.

Getting to indulge right now, after a horrendous few weeks, an equally horrible evening, and then the drain of experiencing that heart stopping nightmare—it floods him with a gratefulness it's nearly overwhelming. Kalmiya isn't worn, familiar embrace of his sister or Mal, but maybe this is the start. Maybe one day, she will be.

At her faux-annoyed prod, he shifts a bit, shoulders shaking in a quiet laugh. ]


Okay, okay. But, you have to admit they're useful. Besides, you gotta put roots down sometime, yeah?

[ Arthur tilts his chin, glancing up towards her. ] Impermanence can get tiring, after a while.
pointedlook: (we're gonna need a little more than that)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-08 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
[ Relaxing into her hold once more as she begins tracing her fingertips along his back, he watches as she turns the question around in her mind. There's a thoughtful hum, the reverberating in her chest and then onwards to his, before she looks to the ceiling, expression smoothing out in her contemplation. Having done the same thing on many nights of insomnia, he knows she's further afield than the plant-covered plaster above them.

Over the tether, he can feel the delve of thoughts like the muffled embrace of thick woods. In them is primarily a hush, punctuated by the drift of leaves, the scrape and sway of branches, the chirp of frogs and crickets both. ]


Of course, the people are important. [ They're why he endured fighting Los Angeles traffic or even the long drive out to the middle of Pennsylvania. ] You don't want a space to call your own?

[ While he's got plenty of things in his apartment back home, it's less about the stuff and more knowing there was a spot he could return to, time and again, without worrying over different etiquette or habits. Of course, he's also got plenty of photographs and memories on those walls and all over various surfaces. Like the stupid platypus carving Vivian got him that sits on his desk—she said it reminded her of him: sort of cute and normal, but actually a complete weirdo.

(In retaliation, he'd found a beanie-stuffed one with eyelashes and sent it to her, because they were twins, after all.) ]
pointedlook: (can't drop you without gravity)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-08 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Her startled confusion is clear over the tether, though it runs alongside her processing the conversation about personal spaces. Separate thoughts and yet, rapid enough that switching from one to the other will require temporarily dropping a topic if needed.

Which apparently is the case, since the answer she gives—well, it's kind of sad, really. And it's something he tucks away to come back to later, because apparently his recollection of Vivian's gift is more important at the moment. Having anticipated the curiosity, he still can't help the raise of his brows, nor the bemusement that colors his voice. ]


The platypus? They're mammals mostly native to Australia. [ Not that she'll know where that is, but anyway: ] I take it they don't exist where you're from?

[ Score one for the mundane world having something more fantastical than a place that has fairies. ]
pointedlook: (eames)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-08 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I suppose it is. [ He remarks, in a way that indicates he's never thought about the inherent cuteness of this animal's name. Because he hasn't. The delight in her laugh, though, is a bit infectious, making the corners of his mouth turn up. ]

They're not exactly all over, here, either. Maybe there's a whole colony of them on some remote island you haven't been to yet. [ After all, the only reason anyone outside of Australia knew what a platypus was in his world was thanks to modern communications. Well, settlement and science, too. But, a 10 year old in rural America wasn't likely to stumble on it in scientific papers or even in a textbook. Over the internet, though, that was more possible. ]

If you do find them, just be careful, they've got poison spurs on their feet.
pointedlook: <lj user="seethesoldiers" site="insanejournal.com"> (wait)

[personal profile] pointedlook 2025-09-10 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
Yup, just on their back ... feet? Flippers? [ He actually has no earthly idea what they're counted as. It doesn't really seem to matter, since Kalmiya's excitement is palpable, especially as she gives him a brief squeeze with the arm that's looped over his shoulders. All he feels across the tether, too, is a radiant affection, centered around her thoughts of the little creatures. ]

Can you summon Coconut here? [ Is that even a thing? He'd thought with her being cut off from her powers, she wouldn't be able to. ] How often do familiars want for new vessels?

[ This magic stuff is still ... a lot. ]

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